When Harry Met Sally...For some people, love is something immediately visible, right in front of you and "out there". For others, like Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright (Meg Ryan), it's the kind of thing which is the source of dramatic irony--because we see that, ultimately, they're right for each other, but it's going to take a decade and change for it to become clear to them. When Harry Met Sally... is the aptly-titled story of these two young adults on the road to middle age, and the unlikely friendship that blooms when they find themselves at last without a lover, but looking for an ear to bend while on the mend.
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When Harry Met Sally... is, in my humble opinion, the most genuine and plausible romantic comedy ever made. It's not that romance is implausible, but most entries into the genre present it with predictible banality, whereas When Harry Met Sally... is not only clever and novel in its approach in tackling how two people fall in love, it also maneuvers freely in the "friend zone" with ease. When Harry and Sally graduate from the University of Chicago, they carpool to New York City, even though it becomes clear that at this time, they are dramatically different personalities. Harry, already dating a friend of Sally's, makes a pass at her (yes, Harry, we guys know that's a pass), which Sally refuses, and segues into a theory that men and women can't ever really be "just friends", because the "sex" part always gets in the way. His argument--which is justifiable for a twenty-something neophyte--remains the proverbial elephant in the room throughout When Harry Met Sally..., meaning that for its naivete, there is still the grain of truth to it. But this wouldn't be evident until much later when they actually become friends, since a chance encounter at an airport reveals that although they have both grown some, they are still too different to relate to one another. It isn't until they've suffered their respective losses in the arena of love that they see sympathize with one another. In a sense, Harry's observation a decade before becomes like a challenge to them both, their hearts frustrated and sore, hoping they can be happy in life without chasing after love like a hopeless puppy nipping at its heels.
What Harry and Sally subconsciously understand is that they are both vulnerable people, who have their own respective idiosyncrasies and insecurities with which to cope. Harry pursues sex as the only real goal in a relationship, like the finish line of the race. He also uses it--as Sally points out during an argument following an uncomfortable reunion with Harry's ex-wife, Helen (Harley Kozak), and her new lover--to revenge himself against Helen, and perhaps women in general. Sally's insecurities are less obvious; at first, they include innocuous things like ordering at restaurants with "high maintenance" complexity--everything "on the side". These eventually give way to her real fears of being unloved and wasting her chance at having a meaningful relationship and family as she approaches forty--even if forty is eight years away. Harry and Sally's relationship is part mutual therapy and part unintended courtship. The two challenge stereotypes about men and women, and pride themselves that they can speak with candor, unafraid of how it might affect the likelihood of falling into bed with one another. To be fair, Harry's bluntness is a quality evident from his first encounter with Sally, although it is only when their friendship is official that Sally herself returns the favor. These conversations necessitate moments of vulnerability between them both, which in turn requires trust, a key element that seems to be missing in all too many relationships, where people are convinced that they have to keep lovers and friends mutually exclusive. While many of these private conversations--which are the heart of When Harry Met Sally...--are of a personal nature, at other times they concern the larger "battle of the sexes", including the famous restaurant scene, where Sally eloquently disproves Harry's arrogant belief that he is God's gift to women.
Throughout When Harry Met Sally..., there are moments where elderly couples who have been together for over half a century talk about how they finally found true love with one another. In some cases, the story is as clear and direct as a man seeing the woman he wants to marry and marrying her; in others, they turn out to be almost excruciatingly complicated, such as the man who married and divorced a few times, before reuniting with his first ex-wife at a funeral, finally retying the knot for good. These scenes are a stylistic choice building to the denouement, but also underscore that love isn't a formula, as cliche as that may be. Harry and Sally find they share some things in common from the start, like their mutual affection for Casablanca--although they debate about the ending at length--and come to appreciate their differences, strange and arbitrary as they may be, like how Harry semi-morbidly reads the last page of a book first (claiming so that he can know how it ends in case he dies before he can finish it). The dialogue in When Harry Met Sally... is sharp and clever, but also filled with authenticity and human feeling. Billy Crystal is the comic maestro in the film, drawing upon his generous comedic talent, but Meg Ryan's frequently more reserved response is crucial in balancing the humor. It also reveals key characteristics about these two characters--Harry uses comedy as a way of deflecting his loneliness and also subconsciously to impress Sally, who in turn suspects that Harry's assertion that men and women can't "just be friends" may be a valid argument, but as she grows more intimate with Harry, she fears that it might be true. Their friends, Jess (Bruno Kirby) and Marie (Carrie Fisher), are united following their own struggles with finding true love by Harry and Sally, but even this was an unintended consequence. Later, they see that Harry and Sally are right for one another, even though the two struggle to see it themselves, overwrought with the prospect of losing a meaningful friendship, cashing in for a one-night stand. All of this comes back to the conceit that love isn't something that can be forced by anyone, and can only really exist as an organic extension of trust and friendship, and they don't have to be disparate.
Recommended for: Fans of a true and heartfelt romantic comedy which engages its audience both with witty comedy and a genuine understanding of the heart, from the point of view of both men and women.
What Harry and Sally subconsciously understand is that they are both vulnerable people, who have their own respective idiosyncrasies and insecurities with which to cope. Harry pursues sex as the only real goal in a relationship, like the finish line of the race. He also uses it--as Sally points out during an argument following an uncomfortable reunion with Harry's ex-wife, Helen (Harley Kozak), and her new lover--to revenge himself against Helen, and perhaps women in general. Sally's insecurities are less obvious; at first, they include innocuous things like ordering at restaurants with "high maintenance" complexity--everything "on the side". These eventually give way to her real fears of being unloved and wasting her chance at having a meaningful relationship and family as she approaches forty--even if forty is eight years away. Harry and Sally's relationship is part mutual therapy and part unintended courtship. The two challenge stereotypes about men and women, and pride themselves that they can speak with candor, unafraid of how it might affect the likelihood of falling into bed with one another. To be fair, Harry's bluntness is a quality evident from his first encounter with Sally, although it is only when their friendship is official that Sally herself returns the favor. These conversations necessitate moments of vulnerability between them both, which in turn requires trust, a key element that seems to be missing in all too many relationships, where people are convinced that they have to keep lovers and friends mutually exclusive. While many of these private conversations--which are the heart of When Harry Met Sally...--are of a personal nature, at other times they concern the larger "battle of the sexes", including the famous restaurant scene, where Sally eloquently disproves Harry's arrogant belief that he is God's gift to women.
Throughout When Harry Met Sally..., there are moments where elderly couples who have been together for over half a century talk about how they finally found true love with one another. In some cases, the story is as clear and direct as a man seeing the woman he wants to marry and marrying her; in others, they turn out to be almost excruciatingly complicated, such as the man who married and divorced a few times, before reuniting with his first ex-wife at a funeral, finally retying the knot for good. These scenes are a stylistic choice building to the denouement, but also underscore that love isn't a formula, as cliche as that may be. Harry and Sally find they share some things in common from the start, like their mutual affection for Casablanca--although they debate about the ending at length--and come to appreciate their differences, strange and arbitrary as they may be, like how Harry semi-morbidly reads the last page of a book first (claiming so that he can know how it ends in case he dies before he can finish it). The dialogue in When Harry Met Sally... is sharp and clever, but also filled with authenticity and human feeling. Billy Crystal is the comic maestro in the film, drawing upon his generous comedic talent, but Meg Ryan's frequently more reserved response is crucial in balancing the humor. It also reveals key characteristics about these two characters--Harry uses comedy as a way of deflecting his loneliness and also subconsciously to impress Sally, who in turn suspects that Harry's assertion that men and women can't "just be friends" may be a valid argument, but as she grows more intimate with Harry, she fears that it might be true. Their friends, Jess (Bruno Kirby) and Marie (Carrie Fisher), are united following their own struggles with finding true love by Harry and Sally, but even this was an unintended consequence. Later, they see that Harry and Sally are right for one another, even though the two struggle to see it themselves, overwrought with the prospect of losing a meaningful friendship, cashing in for a one-night stand. All of this comes back to the conceit that love isn't something that can be forced by anyone, and can only really exist as an organic extension of trust and friendship, and they don't have to be disparate.
Recommended for: Fans of a true and heartfelt romantic comedy which engages its audience both with witty comedy and a genuine understanding of the heart, from the point of view of both men and women.