Transylvania 6-5000Get ready for the strangest use of Glenn Miller's "Pennsylvania 6-5000" since "Twin Peaks"...no matter if this movie came first. Transylvania 6-5000 is a horror comedy about a couple of tabloid reporters--Jack Harrison (Jeff Goldblum) and Gil Turner (Ed Begley Jr.)--who are sent out on assignment to Transylvania to investigate reports that Frankenstein (the monster here, not the scientist) is running amok, terrorizing tourists. What they find instead is a sedate, tourist-welcoming modern community at odds with its monster movie image cultivated in Hollywood. Undeterred, they plumb deeper into investigating a possible conspiracy to cover up the quaint town's embarrassing past.
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Transylvania 6-5000 is the kind of movie that puts comic antics first and foremost, and plot and plausibility dead last. That isn't to say that the movie isn't enjoyable, but it's fun for different reasons. I found myself laughing out loud repeatedly at the antics and shenanigans of the talented cast of actors and comedians, and tolerated the tissue thin story because I knew more yuks per minute were inbound. Fundamentally, Transylvania 6-5000 is a descendant of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and this movie wears its inspiration all too loudly on its sleeve. Jack is essentially the "straight man" of the pair, who--in typical Goldblum fashion--casually stammers while looking confused at all of the absurd goings on. Gil, on the other hand, is a bit of a dim bulb who is often the one to stir the pot in this goofy microcosm, and keeps the comedy coming as a result. Case in point: when they first get off the tour bus in the warm and welcoming Transylvania town square, he goes into the hotel and "within five minutes" elicits ridicule and laughter from the concierge and Mayor Lepescu (Jeffrey Jones) by none-too-subtly whispering if anyone has seen Frankenstein lately. Jack has a subplot about his attraction to (literally) the first woman he sees after getting off the bus, a single mother named Elizabeth Ellison (Teresa Ganzel); she has a penchant for resolving problems by smashing a wine bottle over someone's head. Of course, this subplot is little more than an elaborate build up to a sight gag later, when Frankenstein (Petar Buntic) seems to abduct Elizabeth's daughter, Laura (Sara Grdjan), in an oft-lampooned scene originating in 1931's Frankenstein--see Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein. Jack and Gil did not run up the hill (sorry, couldn't resist), but end up staying at a renovated castle that has yet to open to the public at large. Despite this, the Mayor--who also oversees the hotel, because why not--employs a cadre of weirdos to run things. He claims that they "fit that image" of Transylvania which he's paradoxically both opposed to and willing to embrace just to draw in tourism. These include an Igor-esque hunchback named Radu (John Byner) and his obnoxiously helpful wife, Lupe (Carol Kane), who have an uncontrollable need to call everyone "master". The movie isn't above interjecting a few scenes of these oddballs devoid of context just for the sake of hilarity, like when they prepare grapefruit or wash the windows.
But the real star of Transylvania 6-5000 has to be Michael Richards, who plays a lanky, manic, Eastern European nut named Fejos, who does absolutely off-the-wall nonsense in every scene. His comedy is so physical and bizarre that in several scenes, some of the other actors (notably Goldblum) simply cannot resist smirking. (In yet another nod to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Fejos has a similar name to the Dracula character's alias, "Dr. Lejos", while the director of Transylvania 6-5000, Rudy De Luca, plays a "wolf" of a man named "Lawrence Malbot"; the wolfman in Abbott and Costello was named "Talbot".) Despite having absolutely no intrinsic value to the plot, Richards' Fejos steals every single scene he is in with his unrelenting weirdness. Take when he interrupts Jack and Gil in their room, and hands them something, leading to a predictable gag where his "hand" comes off. But then, as he's being tossed out, his leg gets trapped in the door, and it turns out to be prosthetic, too. But wait, there's more! This gag gets lampshaded when Fejos sticks his leg in again (in a later scene) and Gil yanks on it, only to discover that he's just pulled the warped valet into his room and yanked him off his feet. Transylvania 6-5000 repeatedly subverts monster movie tropes, even if its attempts are often predictable and uninspired. Consider the "nymphomaniac vampire", Odette (Geena Davis), whose barely there outfit is complete (incomplete?) with a nigh-Vampirella-level plunging neckline. And this movie isn't going to win any awards for originality or craftsmanship. For example, the obligatory mad scientist, Dr. Malavaqua (Joseph Bologna), transforms into an abusive, raving maniac...but only once he crosses the threshold of his subterranean lab at the hotel, which is decorated with what looks like a bunch of Xerox machines. (I'm guessing Tesla coils were too pricey?) The conspiracy angle between the disingenuous Lepescu and the chief of police, Inspector Percek (Božidar Smiljanić), is an artificial conflict, and a search in the woods for the missing Laura is needlessly long and just pads the already slender run time of 93 minutes. But despite its obvious shortcomings, Transylvania 6-5000 dwells in the "so bad it's good" subgenre of camp classics because it is just so doggone so funny...even if the only convincing howls the ones coming from the audience with each pratfall or idiotic schtick.
Recommended for: Fans who put a premium on wacky hijinks over verisimilitude. Transylvania 6-5000 is the kind of film you used to see playing on Saturday afternoons on local TV, and in that way it has its own kind of dopey charm.
But the real star of Transylvania 6-5000 has to be Michael Richards, who plays a lanky, manic, Eastern European nut named Fejos, who does absolutely off-the-wall nonsense in every scene. His comedy is so physical and bizarre that in several scenes, some of the other actors (notably Goldblum) simply cannot resist smirking. (In yet another nod to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Fejos has a similar name to the Dracula character's alias, "Dr. Lejos", while the director of Transylvania 6-5000, Rudy De Luca, plays a "wolf" of a man named "Lawrence Malbot"; the wolfman in Abbott and Costello was named "Talbot".) Despite having absolutely no intrinsic value to the plot, Richards' Fejos steals every single scene he is in with his unrelenting weirdness. Take when he interrupts Jack and Gil in their room, and hands them something, leading to a predictable gag where his "hand" comes off. But then, as he's being tossed out, his leg gets trapped in the door, and it turns out to be prosthetic, too. But wait, there's more! This gag gets lampshaded when Fejos sticks his leg in again (in a later scene) and Gil yanks on it, only to discover that he's just pulled the warped valet into his room and yanked him off his feet. Transylvania 6-5000 repeatedly subverts monster movie tropes, even if its attempts are often predictable and uninspired. Consider the "nymphomaniac vampire", Odette (Geena Davis), whose barely there outfit is complete (incomplete?) with a nigh-Vampirella-level plunging neckline. And this movie isn't going to win any awards for originality or craftsmanship. For example, the obligatory mad scientist, Dr. Malavaqua (Joseph Bologna), transforms into an abusive, raving maniac...but only once he crosses the threshold of his subterranean lab at the hotel, which is decorated with what looks like a bunch of Xerox machines. (I'm guessing Tesla coils were too pricey?) The conspiracy angle between the disingenuous Lepescu and the chief of police, Inspector Percek (Božidar Smiljanić), is an artificial conflict, and a search in the woods for the missing Laura is needlessly long and just pads the already slender run time of 93 minutes. But despite its obvious shortcomings, Transylvania 6-5000 dwells in the "so bad it's good" subgenre of camp classics because it is just so doggone so funny...even if the only convincing howls the ones coming from the audience with each pratfall or idiotic schtick.
Recommended for: Fans who put a premium on wacky hijinks over verisimilitude. Transylvania 6-5000 is the kind of film you used to see playing on Saturday afternoons on local TV, and in that way it has its own kind of dopey charm.