Meet the ParentsOne of the constants in parenting is that a father will always believe that he knows what kind of guy is good enough for his little girl. Sometimes he's right; and sometimes, that parental paranoia sneaks in and steers the boat into troubled waters. So when already anxious "Greg" Focker (Ben Stiller) goes with his girlfriend, Pam (Teri Polo) to attend a wedding for her sister in upstate New York, he is confronted with not just the trepidation of meeting her parents, but a fear which is compounded and exacerbated by Pam's intimidating father, Jack (Robert De Niro), who senses Greg's fear like a shark senses blood in the water.
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Meet the Parents is a comedy about a man whose luck and fortune at trying to impress the prospective in-laws diminishes by degrees from scene to scene. Greg's initial attempt to propose to Pam is but the first faltering, after what should be a special, cute moment is upstaged by the news of her sister's engagement. Greg's misfortune escalates when he visits the Byrnes' homestead, and his best attempts to win over Jack's approval are consistently undermined, subverted, and reversed at every turn. All of the bad things that happen to Greg would make for a laundry list of growing social tragedy, from the innocuous error of grabbing a "Modern Mother" magazine to cover up spying on Jack at the convenience store, to other harrowing faux pas more severe, such as shattering the urn of Jack's late mother with a thirteen dollar drug store champagne bottle cork. In Greg's defense, Jack has a significant chip on his shoulder, and is furiously overprotective of his "Pam-cakes". And Jack is also blind to her life independent from his presence, as he is to other aspects in his home, like his son's use of marijuana, who pins the purloined pipe on newcomer Greg when caught green-handed. One could argue that to an extent, all fathers seek to root out the imperfections their lovestruck daughters fail to see in their beloved; but Jack has a leg up on most fathers, given that he has decades of experience as a CIA "spy hunter" and profiler--a "living lie detector", as Pam describes him. Hints of Jack's paranoid level of information gathering comes across when he introduces Greg to his upcoming "business venture": the "Nanny Cam", which would almost be cute as a teddy bear with a built in camera, save that it is but a small part in what is in fact a multi-layered surveillance system wired through the house. And when Greg is exposed to this top-secret disclosure, while it reaffirms in him that Jack is a pit bull out to take him down, it makes him aware that he is in a completely new league of cold-sweat inducing fear, of losing this battle of acceptance where the cards are stacked against him.
Meet the Parents benefits from a real coup in casting Ben Stiller and Robert De Nero in the roles of Greg and Jack. Ben Stiller is both a convincing everyman and a devoted boyfriend, who becomes increasingly fraught with the terror of disappointing Pam as a result of disappointing her parents. As the tension is ratcheted up constantly, it wears on him, making his inevitable diatribe against a smarmy airline attendant--who frankly has it coming--both satisfying and believable. And Robert De Niro brings a specific brand of imposing magnitude to Jack, having established his career playing "tough guys", his mere presence enough to make Greg appear small by comparison. Jack and Greg's relationship gets off on the wrong foot from the start, but in a way, these "missteps" afford more opportunities to develop these characters, speaking to their true motivations; wouldn't make for much of a story if everything (or anything) went right. Jack plays Greg like a harp, knowing which buttons to push, and willing to capitalize on moments to make Greg feel increasingly humiliated and alienated from their "circle of trust", such as when Greg is forced to endure Pam's sister's fiance and his dad--both doctors who condescend to Greg for having the gall to be a male nurse. And it's bad enough that by some cruel twist of fate, Greg is forced to meet Pam's former fiance, Kevin (Owen Wilson), but somehow made worse by the fact that he is so utterly perfect that he practically beams, casting long shadows over Greg's self-esteem. And even when Greg tries to play to their petty "reindeer games", it always blows up in his face, such as his unfortunate enthusiasm during a game of volleyball in the pool, or his desperate attempt to gain acceptance by delivering the runaway cat, Jinx, back into the household...with a new coat of paint. Meet the Parents has themes of acceptance, but also of the feelings of alienation by those who come from different walks of life, or those who struggle to cope with the unfamiliar, especially in the form of Jack and Greg's interactions. It has been said that the Byrnes' are quintessentially a "WASP" family, and the culture clash between them and Greg is a catalyst for the communication breakdown which follows. Similarly, Greg's birth name and surname--combined with his profession--speaks of preconceived notions about masculinity, drawn from stereotypes which Greg challenges in the audience, consequentially by having the film portray those who mock him in this regard as arrogant jerks. A friend of mine claims that Meet the Parents is painful to watch, because of all the humiliation which Greg has to endure; it is a nightmare experience. But what better metaphor could there be to exemplify that sense of abject terror which grips a man trying to impress the sentinels of his love's hand in marriage? And just try to sit there and tell me you weren't the least bit mortified at the thought of blowing it before your significant other's parents, and I'll have Greg check you for a pulse...or maybe Jack.
Recommneded for: Fans of a comedy of errors and a hysterical farce, where all that could go wrong in the tension-laden first meeting with the parents does go wrong. Filled with displays of minor passive-aggressiveness to full-blown outlandish insanity, it is good for a series of laughs at how far the crazy can go.
Meet the Parents benefits from a real coup in casting Ben Stiller and Robert De Nero in the roles of Greg and Jack. Ben Stiller is both a convincing everyman and a devoted boyfriend, who becomes increasingly fraught with the terror of disappointing Pam as a result of disappointing her parents. As the tension is ratcheted up constantly, it wears on him, making his inevitable diatribe against a smarmy airline attendant--who frankly has it coming--both satisfying and believable. And Robert De Niro brings a specific brand of imposing magnitude to Jack, having established his career playing "tough guys", his mere presence enough to make Greg appear small by comparison. Jack and Greg's relationship gets off on the wrong foot from the start, but in a way, these "missteps" afford more opportunities to develop these characters, speaking to their true motivations; wouldn't make for much of a story if everything (or anything) went right. Jack plays Greg like a harp, knowing which buttons to push, and willing to capitalize on moments to make Greg feel increasingly humiliated and alienated from their "circle of trust", such as when Greg is forced to endure Pam's sister's fiance and his dad--both doctors who condescend to Greg for having the gall to be a male nurse. And it's bad enough that by some cruel twist of fate, Greg is forced to meet Pam's former fiance, Kevin (Owen Wilson), but somehow made worse by the fact that he is so utterly perfect that he practically beams, casting long shadows over Greg's self-esteem. And even when Greg tries to play to their petty "reindeer games", it always blows up in his face, such as his unfortunate enthusiasm during a game of volleyball in the pool, or his desperate attempt to gain acceptance by delivering the runaway cat, Jinx, back into the household...with a new coat of paint. Meet the Parents has themes of acceptance, but also of the feelings of alienation by those who come from different walks of life, or those who struggle to cope with the unfamiliar, especially in the form of Jack and Greg's interactions. It has been said that the Byrnes' are quintessentially a "WASP" family, and the culture clash between them and Greg is a catalyst for the communication breakdown which follows. Similarly, Greg's birth name and surname--combined with his profession--speaks of preconceived notions about masculinity, drawn from stereotypes which Greg challenges in the audience, consequentially by having the film portray those who mock him in this regard as arrogant jerks. A friend of mine claims that Meet the Parents is painful to watch, because of all the humiliation which Greg has to endure; it is a nightmare experience. But what better metaphor could there be to exemplify that sense of abject terror which grips a man trying to impress the sentinels of his love's hand in marriage? And just try to sit there and tell me you weren't the least bit mortified at the thought of blowing it before your significant other's parents, and I'll have Greg check you for a pulse...or maybe Jack.
Recommneded for: Fans of a comedy of errors and a hysterical farce, where all that could go wrong in the tension-laden first meeting with the parents does go wrong. Filled with displays of minor passive-aggressiveness to full-blown outlandish insanity, it is good for a series of laughs at how far the crazy can go.